Take a load off

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -- Stephan Grellet

I have a car alarm that only works at inappropriate times. It blares when it is just me trying to get into the car if I haven't jiggled the key counterclockwise in the driver's side door while facing north and standing on one foot. Or at least that's how finicky it feels like it is and the methods I have to employ to avoid setting it off. It doesn't happen every time, but it has happened enough in the last few weeks that I have now been unlocking the passenger door first and then walking around to the driver's side door to get in to avoid my ears getting assaulted again.

At first I found this to be quite pesky and grumbled and scowled every morning and throughout the day when I would need to get into my car. Then one morning after I struggled to get my purse, lunch bag, water bottle, coffee mug, makeup tote (and all the other random items that I deem necessary for a happy and successful day) in the car via the passenger side, it occurred to me how nice it felt to set all of them down and walk to the other side of the car without holding anything. I'm like a turtle most of the time. I carry many of my belongings at one time on my back, or rather right next to me in the car. And sure it's a short little walk from my front door to the car, but sometimes it is still long enough to make everything feel heavier than it actually is.

I thought about this sporadically as I drove into work (I have a hefty commute which allows me many minutes to ponder things) and it remained in my free-floating thoughts that day. I work in a veterinary clinic where we treat dogs and cats and take care of their oftentimes very nervous owners depending on the reason for why the animal has come in to see us. Some procedures that the doctors do can be done in the exam rooms with the owner present, but some need to be done in the treatment area in the back of the hospital where the veterinary technicians work and they have lift tables and many instruments at their disposal. This is the case for probably 90% of clients that bring their pets in, if not more. Many people simply sit in the lobby and use the time to phone friends or family members to catch up, or play scrabble on their phones, read books on their Kindles or read the gossip magazines found in the magazine racks under the bulletin boards that advertise pleas to reunite lost pets with their distraught owners. Some pass the time by staring off into space - I imagine to enjoy the little break in their day from their various responsibilities and errands. Many of them chat with me and my fellow receptionists which I always enjoy. Some trade stories with fellow clients - what are you in for? Oh my Yorkie has to get her monthly nail trim (pedicures as some jokingly call it), what about you? Oh my German Shepherd is getting stitches removed from her spay last week and getting vaccinated, so I can get her licensed with the county. And the other client nods her head sympathetically and they exchange knowing looks about the care needed for pets and these two strangers connect over the commonality of being a pet owner.

More times than I can count there have been people waiting for their pets to be done with a routine procedure when a weeping pet owner comes rushing in presenting an emergency situation - their cat was hit by a car, their dog got stung by a bee and is experiencing swelling or an allergic reaction, or their dog ingested something harmful or something else from the many and very scary and tragic things that can happen to pets. More often than not the waiting client will be seen comforting the crying owner while the doctors assess and administer emergency procedures. It's almost breathtaking to witness when two strangers sometimes from two very different walks of life connect and one provides comfort to the other. Most times I get tears in my eyes because of where it touches me in my heart and soul. Inevitably what comes out next is anxiety about having the available funds to pay for an emergency situation like this. And the other client pulls me or one of my coworkers aside and says please take this $20 or $50 or $100 or $200 and put it towards their bill. They tell us they know how upsetting it is to have something happen to a member of your family and the distraught clint has enough to worry about besides their bill.

After thanking the Good Samaritan profusely and wiping away a few tears, we watch them leave and it really seems like they walk a little lighter even though they have just partially taken on another's burden. I know the emotional client feels very grateful and almost walks a little lighter as well. It seems ironic, since technically if you help another human being you should feel that weight but it almost has a balancing effect instead. Almost like the weights that Lady Justice holds that are never quite even - there is no fairness in the world for what happens to some people and not others. But maybe this is life's way of trying to make burdens a little more even or maybe not seem so big and overwhelming. Like maybe you put your problems and worries in perspective and count your blessings that it is not you experiencing that tragedy today. But you know that you may someday experience something similar and you hope that maybe you'll find yourself surrounded by Good Samaritans that will help you shoulder and carry your grief when that time comes.

I'd like to say that these occurrences stay with me long enough to keep me out of my own head and from dwelling on my own problems or issues that I'm grappling with, but honestly I'm more than a little human and I quickly forget. Sometimes though I do find these things seep into my subconscious and manifest themselves in ways that make me happy and help others at the same time. Last week I helped a coworker with a charity event that helps recently rescued girls from human trafficking attend the prom. They were asking for donations for gift baskets full of items to prepare for a formal dance i.e. hairbrushes, nail polish, makeup, etc. I love doing stuff like this and headed to Dollar Tree and put on my what would I like if I was a teenage girl hat (which is actually not too hard when you're married to your high school sweetheart. You still feel like you're 17 going on 18 most of the time which isn't as bad as it sounds, it's actually kind of fun and liberating). I piled my basket high with bright pink and purple compact mirrors, glittery nail polish and eye shadow, nail clippers with zebra and leopard print on them and scented lotion and hand sanitizer in cute travel bags. I laughed to myself as the checker rang me up and raised an eyebrow as she looked at the age lines in my forehead and around my eyes and probably wondered why I wasn't shopping for my age or at least acting like it. I shrugged and we both smiled and wished each other a good afternoon. I grinned as I walked to my car and thought about the girls that I would probably never meet but who weighed on my heart as they came out of unspeakably horrible situations that robbed them of so many things that I have taken for granted in my life. I got chills as I pictured them choosing high heels to match their fancy dresses and styling their hair with the sequined hairbands I had just bought them. And I'll be darned if I didn't notice how heavy the bags were as I heaved them into the passenger side of my car and headed back to my corner of the working world where I'm lucky enough to sometimes witness strangers attempt to balance the burdens of others and in turn, achieve more of a balance in their life. And in mine.