She's nice, but she's pretty high-maintenance

"Life is simple, it's just not easy." -- Author Unknown

Yesterday I was reminded of a truth about myself that I usually try to keep hidden. Or at least not go out of my way to point it out to people. I'm pretty high-maintenance. This observation came from a co-worker as we were discussing our plans for the evening. Mine were not exciting at all - go to the grocery store, stop by a friend's house, and work out -- and I should probably just have stopped there. But I like to talk and so I elaborated that I had to specifically go to New Seasons Market (because that's the only place I can find it) to get coconut milk creamer to put in my organic drip coffee, text my friend so I could coordinate my arrival with her family coming home from a wedding that day and I could buy some fresh eggs from her that she gets from the chickens in her back yard. And I wanted to do my daily 3.5 mile (working on getting up to 4) power walk outside so that I wouldn't be using the treadmill while Grant would be watching the March Madness basketball games. And I didn't just want to go for a walk around my neighborhood, I specifically wanted to go along the Springwater Corridor Trail but since I would be going solo, I had to make sure I went before it got too late and too dark.

I usually am offended when people remark that I'm high-maintenance, unless I have just immediately admitted it and they are agreeing with me. For whatever reason, this interaction didn't bother me. Chalk it up to personal growth, maturity, getting a thicker skin or perhaps the epiphany that I had last night that maybe I'm doing the world a favor by being a little finicky. I'm not trying to justify anything (okay maybe just a little bit), I just know myself and I know what I need to make me the best possible version of myself. This has been a painful, time-consuming process filled with much soul-searching, complaining (cleverly disguised as "observations") and a large amount of acceptance of what I know to be true of myself.

I know that if I were to go back to my old ways of drinking the cheapest ground coffee on the shelf and using sweet, sugary (and delicious) normal coffee creamer (both much more readily available at all supermarkets and less expensive) and telling myself that tomorrow is another day and I could just work out then and it was almost dark outside and maybe not a good idea to work out, I'd be back to where I used to be (aka not the best version of me). For the past eight months I have strived to eat a Paleo diet and exercise at least 6 days a week. This has meant many trips (sometimes inconvenient) to New Seasons, Whole Foods, Farmer's Markets and farm-fresh fruit and vegetable stands while I figure out what will work best for me and Grant and our bank account and waistlines. It has meant saying no thank you to non-organic coffee (which I love, maybe am even a little obsessive about)and politely passing on delicious wonderful-looking non-Paleo foods offered to me (sometimes almost on a daily basis). It has meant trying new things like fresh eggs that are not the pale white color like I'm used to (I thought there was something wrong with brown eggs when I was a kid and refused to eat them). It has meant being a little more pro-active and planning meals for the week on the weekends. It has meant a little less spontaneity - no more quick trips to Winco at 10:00 at night to get chicken breasts or ground beef - now we shop at the local butcher (or as I like to call it the meat market, haha) which is not open 24/7, but more like 9 hours a day for 6 days a week and almost all of those hours coincide with when I'm at work. It has meant walking into the grocery store and only getting the items on my list and not dawdling in the specialty gift section so I can get home after work and have enough time to work out. It has meant more discipline and structure in my life which I used to run from and unfairly and rudely judge people who had that (and healthier lifestyles) and call them rigid and high-maintenance. Pretty ironic and I just have to laugh at myself, even while I'm shuddering at how hypocritical and pot calling the kettle black I can be.

I now know that eating Paleo and doing my power-walking (while I ease slowly back into jogging and hopefully one day soon running) makes me a far better Valerie. I know this because I look better, feel better, act better and friends and family have told me that I seem like I'm back to my old self - happy and a little quirky. I now know that maybe being high-maintenance isn't such a bad thing. I'm a firm believer in the concepts of pay it forward and that we are all connected. I lump those together in my mind, mainly because of my job. I work in a veterinary clinic with dogs and cats and their owners and sometimes their owner's family members. I have never had a job where I worked with the public so much. Unless you count my summer job before college of working at the Maidenform Factory Outlet Store, but really that was only half the population. And sometimes it was their brave husbands or boyfriends intent on purchasing intimate apparel for the women in their life. There are many people that I talk to on the phone or help in person that I'm almost certain I am one of a very small amount of human contact in their day - maybe even in some extreme cases for the week. Don't I owe it to them as their friendly neighborhood veterinary clinic representative to be the best I can be, maybe even Valerie 2.0? If I don't take care of my myself and listen to my body and mind's positive feedback of eating a more anti-inflammatory diet and getting my sweat on more often than not, I run the risk of not being my normal, cheerful self. I like to think I help people and make their day a little better, or at the very least, I don't make it worse for them. Then I like to extrapolate that to the rest of their day. Maybe then they're in a better mood so they're pleasant to the bank teller and the drycleaner and the rest of the people on their list of errands for that day. And then maybe those people are a little happier and they have positive interactions in their day and in their life and so on and so forth. I like to think this way even if it may be a little Pollyanna-ish and maybe not even realistic.

I just finished the last of my delicious breakfast of locally grown sauteed zuchinni and hard-boiled brown egg and I can almost see the bottom of my big pink coffee mug, which makes me a little sad and am tempted to brew another cup. But it's now time to strap on my running shoes and log my 3.75 miles for the day. Maybe these actions will impact somebody in my life and somebody overseas as the two of them engage in a dispute over a cell phone or cable or credit card bill and maybe it will be a little more pleasant for them both. Maybe not. However, healthy eating and exercising do impact me in my little corner of the world and that's a pretty good place to start.